Waiting is "Yucky"

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that this post is entirely from a mother's viewpoint.  A dear friend told me today, "Waiting is yucky."  I couldn't agree more.  We are still waiting to hear the results of Michael's biopsy.  So much of Michael's and our future depends on whether any cancer cells are found or not. 

Every time the phone rings, my heart leaps into my throat.  Every time I see it's not the hospital calling, I feel a mixture of disappointment and a strange relief.  I want to know the results . . . we all need to know the results . . . BUT the fact that the results may not be what we are praying for makes me anxious about finally getting that phone call.

I am learning quite a bit through this whole journey.  I have known (for what seems like my whole life) that God has ordered each of our steps and that His plans are absolutely perfect, but now I am learning to truly believe and rest in that truth.  I have known that every child is a gift from God to raise for His glory and service, but now I am learning what it means to simply be a faithful steward of that gift.  I have known that God's timing is always best, but now I am learning what true patience and contentment should look like.  This mom has much to learn, and I'm afraid that I'm a terribly slow learner!  I'm certainly glad that God is more patient with me than I have been this week.